two of us
by grandpa garbage
Summary: The worst kind of realisation, is realising that in the process of growing up, you've also grown apart.


surprISE. it's me. again. and it's 1am. sleep is only for the good, my friends!

* * *

 **two of us**

He heard her crying in the middle of the night.

It wasn't the first time. He was sure it wasn't the last, either.

Rin was trying to be quiet, he could tell. She was notorious for bottling things up and never letting out. She'd probably go her whole life without uttering a word about her inner demons, and let it all just chew her from the inside out.

It broke Len's heart. It broke his heart that, somehow, in the last 16 years of her life, she'd learnt that she had to keep all her pain to herself.

He decided he'd ignored it for too long.

He didn't want to be the pushy person, to force her to open up when she clearly didn't want to. But it'd been weeks, and she was still sobbing herself to sleep at 3am, without saying a word of her troubles to anyone else.

Taking a steady breath, Len gently tapped the back of his hand against her door. The sobbing stopped abruptly, as if she was trying to pretend it wasn't her.

He opened her door and peered inside. The room was almost pitch black - all but a faint light from outside seeping through the crack in the curtains. He could make out a lump on the bed, hunched over and wrapped in blankets.

"Rin," he said, his voice as soft as he could manage. "Are you awake?"

It was a stupid question to ask. He knew she was awake. She knew he knew she was awake. But it was like a way to excuse himself, a way to check that he wasn't being too pushy or probing into business that wasn't his. If she didn't want him to be there, she just had to pretend to be sleeping. That was it.

There was a beat of silence, and Len was sure she wouldn't respond. But then, in a very quiet and shaky voice, she said, "Yeah."

He walked further into her room, shutting the door behind him. If someone saw her door open, maybe heard them talking, poor Rin's business would become everyone's. And he didn't want that.

"Are you okay?" Len asked, another stupid question. But it was all part of that unspoken rule between them. "I got up to go to the bathroom and heard you crying."

She sniffled, the blankets on the bed rustling with her movement. "I'm sorry," was all she said. "I was trying not to be too loud."

He smiled, not because it was funny, but because she sounded so _Rin_. "You don't have to apologise."

Rin sniffled again. "I just don't want to have to burden anyone, Len."

"Having emotions is not a burden," he stated, pacing towards her bed. He perched on the edge of the mattress, careful not to sit _on_ _her_.

Having emotions was not a burden at all. It was only human, wasn't it? To feel sad, happy, scared? It wasn't like she was using how she felt to hurt people, or to cause trouble - she was doing the opposite, keeping it all to herself.

"Do you want to talk?" he then asked after a moment of hesitation.

Rin was silent for a while. Then she whispered, "Not really."

"Well, okay," Len said, rubbing his neck in thought. She didn't want to talk about it, which was fair. But he didn't just want to leave her sad; if he couldn't listen to her troubles, then what _could_ he do?

"It's too complicated," she continued. "It's stupid."

He sighed. "I'm sure whatever is bothering you isn't stupid, Rin." He reached out to touch her side through the covers, feeling just a hint of warmth under the palm of his hand. It hurt to hear her say such things, to know she felt such a way. "If it bothers you so much, it isn't stupid at all."

Rin made a sound, something between a sob and an agreement, mumbling something along the lines of, "Thank you."

He sat there for a moment, staring into the darkness of her room. He listened to her breathing, shaky and weary, his hand rising and falling slightly with every breath.

He had a very deep care for her, something others couldn't exactly comprehend.

It wasn't romantic or familial or platonic, if that made any sense. It was just there, in his chest, a warm bubble that was filled with nothing but Rin. It always had been there, and it always would be. He would never tell her about it, though.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked. "To make you feel better?"

Rin shifted under the covers, sniffing. "Um…"

"I mean, if you just want me to go away, that's fine too."

"No," she said quickly, before falling quiet once more. She was thinking. "Can you… can you stay here?"

Len paused, a little confused about her request. Well, he could. He could literally go with sitting in this position all night. "Sure."

Rin moved out from under his hand, rolling onto her back, and pulling back the covers at the edge of the bed. She tapped the mattress. "I know we haven't done this in ages…" she mumbled, "but do you mind lying here too?"

He gawked at the silhouette of her, despite knowing that she couldn't see his expression. It wasn't that he didn't want to. It was just - well, surprising. He didn't expect her to ask such a question.

"Um - no. I don't mind."

After a moment of hesitation, he moved to climb under the sheets beside her. The bed was probably too small for two, but Rin didn't seem to mind the proximity - or lack thereof. She rested her head against his chest, her wet cheeks dampening the fabric of his pyjama shirt, curling into him.

Len realised that it really had been a long time. He couldn't remember when he last felt the warmth of Rin huddled against him, the soft rise of her chest, or smelt the familiar scent of her favourite shampoo. It all seemed so far away, and their childhood was so distant, and it dawned on him in that very moment they'd grown up and apart too much, all too fast.

He missed just being able to be with her, in a way that wasn't questionable or would draw eyes. People were always so quick to ask questions, as they grew older. _Why are you so close? Why do you sleep in the same bed? Why do you always look at each other? Why,_ why, why…

"When I was a kid," Rin said into his shirt, "and I was scared or sad, I always would get you to lay with me, because it'd make me feel better." Her fingers were making folds in the fabric, careful and daint.

"Do you feel any better?" he asked.

"I do," she said. She let go of his shirt, tucking her hands up under her chin. "I do."

He smiled, placing a hand at the back of her head and kissing her forehead gently.

She sighed, and for a short moment in time, the world and their worries melted away, and it was just them.

It was just them.

* * *

Ok I tried to make this as NON-RELATIONSHIP-ESQUE AS POSSIBLE. and I mean like, very vague in general. who are they? friends? family? friends with benefits? victims of child marriage? it a fushigi.

TBH I was in a writing rut like two days ago, as you do. And then I felt really sad for "no reason". so I got the idea to write this. and Maybe it's not my best but. (shrugs)

(B)lease reply to my PMs lol I know I'm a dickhead but I'm trying my best. to be less of a dickhead. stares vacatnyl into spaせ

also personally shook my last thing got like. 5 reviews. was expecting a little close to. nothing? aha. I know I said I would write some like smutty continuation of it, but my brain is like "o u wanna write smut? OK sweatie :). put about 300 kinks and 12 lemons in 50 words. GO." (b)lease do NOT leg me go to the kagamine doujin event im the reaspomn nwhy the vocaloid fandom is a hole （泣）

also also TBH TBH, I actually sort of had this idea for another fic idea, but I was like "look,,,, honey. we all know you don't finish anything past one chapter. so just Don't. U Are Dumb."

anyway yeah so I'm going to spend one million yen at the kagamine doujin event. if you see on the news that the japanese and australian governments are looking for a fugitive foreigner (? can i use words right lol) bc she bought an entire doujin convention out, it is Probably Me. And I'm legal enough to buy the lewds so (B)LEASE DON'T TALK TO ME. DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME. I AMm, going to another dimension, to be punished for my sins

eh that's abt it lol. Thnx For Reading ;) x0x0x. 何ファックあんたは私について言ったか？あんたは私がネービーシールスの授業の上を卒業して、色々な秘密なアルカーイダ空襲をして、300人以上確認したキルがあったと知ってるべきだよ。oh my god i give up it's too late to translate with my elementary-level japanese lol bye it's probably all mistakes


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